When alcohol and low-lighting turn on you...

Mandy and I were out recently, having a few swank bevs with a few swank friends. We were handed a form to fill out. Odd. Membership to something or other which we all promptly forgot. Anyway, the point is that when I looked at the form I was outraged. I am truly annoyed by things that are clever for clever's sake. Especially when that cleverness gets in the way of function. "Oh my effing lord!!" I said to Mandy. "Look at this! They've written everything on this form backwards! How bloody clever. NOT!" Mandy is a smart girl. She took it from my hands and righted it. I had it upside down...

So is it dying brain cells and macular degeneration at work? Or are alcohol and low-lighting the real culprits? A couple of weeks ago I met a very nice man. It was at the end of a very long night, just before the "ugly lights" came on. I thought I was pretty sober but he did have to help me down the stairs. My shoes were quite high. We went back to his lovely, expensive hotel suite, but rest assured, nothing untoward happened... He was a perfect gentleman and we talked all night over a bottle of vintage champagne. How lovely! In the course of the conversation a few things became clear. A) we had HEAPS in common. B) he thought I was about 28 (a shortfall of 10 years). C) I thought he was about 40 (a cruel 10 years too many).

That was that. We shook hands and parted at dawn.

Not that I have a problem with a man being younger than me. A lot are, fact. But there is something a little galling about finding that this super intelligent, super successful man sitting across from you saying "when I was your age..." is actually 10 years younger than you. Once I twigged to what was going on I couldn't even concentrate on what he was saying - I had become obsessed with somehow getting the bloody blinds down before the bloody sun came up and gave me away!

Why is my age something I find myself trying to outrun?? Do I have to live the rest of my life caught in a low-lit lie?

I have decided to change my ways. If this occurs again (and let's hope...) I am going to treat my age with insouciance! I am going to laugh gaily (or perhaps a 'tinkling' laugh is more appropriate?) and say "But darling! I am in my sexual prime! I think you'll find that means I am a teensy bit older than you!"

I'll let you know how I go...